Did you get out to Denny’s for the free Grand Slam meals yesterday? I planned on going very early thinking I would beat the crowd. I called some staffers at the Homes for Heroes office asking if they would be interested in joining me for a free breakfast. Most of the staff at Homes for Heroes are Realtors and I know how much they enjoy free food. The first call I made was at 4:30 a.m., I wanted to make sure they were ready for Denny’s 6 a.m. opening.

I learned another thing about Realtors this morning. None of them, for some reason or another, like to be woken at 4:30 in the morning. I can only conclude they like their sleep more than 2 eggs, 2 strips of bacon, 2 pieces of sausage and 2 flapjacks for free. So alone I wander out into the below zero weather and head over to the nearest Denny’s. I get there at 5:45 a.m. and cannot find a parking spot. I park about 3 blocks and walk back to the restaurant. I am surprised by the amount of elderly people standing outside the door. Especially their rudeness. I learned that I should keep a 4 to 5 foot distance from the ones with canes.

Why all this hostility from our “Greatest Generation”? It took about four whacks and a couple of stitches to figure out why. These people have been going to Denny’s for years and it comes to them as a surprise the Denny’s wants to reward the nation for their patronage. They are not happy with Denny’s poor decision. I had to learn this the hard way, I hope most of you figured it out after the first smack.

On my way back from the emergency room, hungry and sore, I saw something that made me think I got hit harder than I thought. This is something one should not witness after being hit in the head with a cane. I entered the office and was asked why I was late. I was hoping the bandage on my head would gain sympathy, but I think the fake cast last week severely impeded those chances. My boss could see I was visibly agitated and her eyes softened a small bit. Is there anything I should know about, she asked.

Forgetting about my bandages and bruises, I started to tell my boss about the incredible thing I saw on the way back from the hospital. The softness in her eyes went away and I was told to get to work. I am not sure what a demerit is but some how I received another today. I got to my desk and immediately got a cup of coffee. As you know I had an incident with my morning rituals at work. I have been changing up my routine to keep the office ninja from messing with me. I now get my coffee first then sit down and turn on my computer. I have had to make other adjustments in the office and some of them have been very successful in sabotaging any plans the ninjas might have. We’ll have to discuss that later, I can’t let the ninja know I am on to him/her.

Once the computer comes up, I go to You Tube and try to see if others have seen what I saw on the way to work. It took some time but I found it. I don’t know how it is done, but I am relieved that I was not hallucinating from the concussion the elderly provided for me.

Not sure what this was but it had me wondering about the soundness of my vision.

My boss calmed down a bit after seeing this video, it seems like I wasn’t being my usual self after all. But that was short lived. Some students at the University of Minnesota had a great idea. They had a garbage truck dump a load of garbage in front of the student hall to go through it and see how much could still be recycled and or reused. I started to call around and found a local refuse company that was willing to come by and drop a load off in the parking lot.

The lot was full and I had to call the refuse company to reschedule the drop off at lunch. At the prescribed hour the garbage truck arrived and there was an available spot. I instructed the driver where to make his deposit and he started to back up to the spot.

Now you might be wondering why I would want a load of garbage dumped in our parking lot? The answer is quite simple. I figured I could do a whole week of reuse articles from stuff that people threw away. Coffee filters could be washed and bleached then used to line your pots for plants. Keeps the dirt from coming out of the bottom. Cans can be turned into small camping stoves, plastic bottles turned into…… See, the ideas are endless and the articles produced would save money for families across this blessed nation. As the truck started dumping it’s load my boss happened to come back from lunch early. She got out and stopped the garbage man mid dump. As I came around the truck my eyes met my bosses and I immediately turned and ran.

Ninja instincts took over, I hopped behind a bush. Being hidden from view I changed into my ninja garb and climbed the wall to the roof. On the roof top I made my way back into the building. With extreme stealth I made it back to the office and got under my desk. This hiding place would offer me sanctuary until things blew over. About 15 minutes later I hear some one call out, “look what I found in the trash out in the parking lot.” I extract myself from my desk to see what was found, upset with myself for not finding it, whatever it was. As I stand I come eye to eye with my boss. She drops a coffee can on my desk then points to her office. Let me get back to you.

A ninjas training is never finished. I am confident that my ninja skills will get me out of this, if not I will let you know how it goes.

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