I think I might be in trouble. I did something today at the Homes for Heroes office that might not be in line with office policy. At first it went unnoticed, I had done a pretty good job of covering it up. Then some office “do gooder” had to blurt out loud enough for my boss to hear.

I didn't think any one would notice.

I didn't think any one would notice.

“Why is the trash can sitting upside down in the middle of the floor?” I had put a potted plant on top of it, thinking it would be obvious to anyone that the trash can sitting upside down in the middle of the floor was put there to hold the plant. It didn’t seem to work as long as I hoped. My boss walks out of her office, eyes the trash can with the plant on top of it, turns to my desk and asks, “what the H@&& are you up to now?”

As she approaches, I go into my best pu ning mu position. For you out there that are not familiar with the ways of the ninja. This is the “hiding like a stone” position. hidelikeastoneYou take your legs and move them into your chest then wrap your arms around your legs trying to make your self as small as possible. The hard part is controlling your breathing, you must remain as still as possible. This position has saved me many times before. “I am a stone”, I think to myself as my boss pokes me with her toe and asks me to see her in her office. “I am a stone being prodded by my boss”, I think to myself as she prods me a little harder. “I can see you, dummy, that stone trick only works if you are not seen to begin with.” She drives the point home by pouring a little water from her water bottle onto my face.

My concentration broken, I get up and follow her to her office. We sit down and she again asks what the trash can is doing in the middle of the office floor. I told her that the plant was looking a little rough so I thought I would put it in a place to take full advantage of the sun. The trash can just maximized that sun light. My boss leans back in her chair and runs both her hands through her hair. I think I might just get out of this yet. She is not going to pursue this any further, I think. She is a gardener and my story fits right into that. “I don’t care, get rid of it.” She sighs, and dismisses me with a wave of her hand.

What do I do now, is all I can think of as I slowly walk over to the trash can. If I move the trash can now, all will know what I did and that is not what I want every one to know.tree-in-living-room1 It all started last night watching the Home and Gardens cable channel. They were previewing some homes and one of them had an orange tree growing in the middle of the living room. I thought, how cool would that be at work. No more running to the vending machine looking for a snack, just mosey on over to the apple tree in the middle of the office and grab yourself a nice healthy snack, straight from mother nature.

On the way in I stopped by the local nursery and picked up a small apple tree. italian-apple-treeWhen I got to the office I grabbed some tools and headed over to where I thought would be the best spot for the apple tree. In full blossom it would be directly between my desk and my boss’s. This would aid me greatly when doing some of my office experiments. I cut a nice square in the carpet, then proceed to chip away at the cement floor below. I figured the hole only had to be about the size of a coffee can and it should not take that long. I would have the tree planted before any one else got to the office.

Well, the cement was harder and thicker than I thought. The hammer alone was not doing it, so I grabbed a big chisel and really started to make some progress. That was until the chisel decided it wanted to penetrate the high voltage power cable buried beneath the cement. With a loud bang and an eyebrow trimming flash, the chisel popped out of my hands and embedded it self in the cabinets behind me. We didn’t lose power in the office but the alarms were going off at the bank across the street. With all haste, I pushed the cement chips back in the hole, covered the hole with the cut out carpet and stamped it down with my foot. I stepped back to see how it looked. What it looked like was a pile of cement chips covered by a piece of carpet sitting in the middle of the office floor.

Being a quick thinker, I look around trying to figure how I can get this big lump out of site before anyone shows up. I spy the garbage can, snatch it and place it over the pile. Perfect, except someone is going to question why the can is sitting in the middle of the floor. Again a detail scan of the office produced just what I was looking for. In the corner of my boss’s office was a small potted tree. I grabbed it and placed it on the can. Voila! Problem averted and I can go another day unscathed by office rules and such.

I promised you yesterday that we would talk about growing some of your vegetables at home. It will have to wait another day. I have to run to the hardware store for some cement and carpet glue and get back before the electrician shows up. I will get started as soon as the electrician is done and the cement is set.

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